p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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