The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i came on her dog
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
