Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
