I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
