You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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