I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Shitshow foam night was such a success
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
