Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
it's like heaven, but drunker
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize