I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
