I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
