Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
