I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
