ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
