Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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