she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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