We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
