nut hugger
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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