It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
