How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
