i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
