Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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