So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
