Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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