Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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