My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
