they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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