I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
