And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
