sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
