Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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