im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
