I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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