I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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