She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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