at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I need to calm my uterus...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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