I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
