is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
