Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
