Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
