hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
