Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
