how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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