D3 body, D1 cock
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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