Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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