I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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