Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
