Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
