he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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