oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
