Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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