Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
as a side note pls kill me
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
