She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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