she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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