I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
