what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
