i just had sex bonerless
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
